A good place to start is with a definition.
Windelicious
1. (adjective) An unexpected combination of
farty and malicious, it is
uncertain who invented the term “windelicious” or why, but
it was probably out of boredom and spite.
2. (noun) The following short fable that will take less than two minutes
to read and comes with a disclaimer*.
Born a skinny mutt with no butt and a rat’s tail, he grew up eating fine cheeses, pâté, and soup of oxtail. The rich food made him farty so someone called him "Windeeelicious" and the name stuck like a tattoo. But it wasn’t the food that made Windeeelicious malicious, what that was will soon be revealed.
The house he lived in was nice, and his family was fine, except for his father who was a cruel tyke that cared for no one and left piles wherever he liked. One day his father was struck hard on the head with a newspaper after leaving a nasty pile on the bed. The incident made him an even more callous and brutal cuss, so Windeeelicious learned a lesson and left.
Out on his own, Windeeelicious sought what he desired most, shoes. He adored their shine, their scent, and the rich texture of leather softening between his teeth. If he was devoted to anything other than himself, it was shoes. One day, while wandering the street, Windeeelicious spotted a pair he wanted on somebody's feet. So he widened his eyes, raised his ears, wagged his thin little tail, and pretended to be a puppy even though he had not been one for years.
The ruse worked, the man decided to take the sad looking stray home and get him some food. While Windeeelicious was dining on his free meal the man put his favorite shoes away and Windeeelicious didn’t see where. So Windeeelicious contrived to stay while he hunted for the shoe’s lair.
The man was easily fooled by Windeeelicious’ pretensions. He cared for the mutt, fed him steak and frites, took him for trips, rides in the car, and made sure he had a comfortable place to sleep. Windeeelicious enjoyed the benefits he was given, but did not forget his true intentions and kept up the search for his precious' location.
To ensure he would continue to be cared for and fed, Windeeelicious held his sphincter tight while pretending to be thankful and polite. Despite his best effort, every so often a hint would leak out from under his tail. The man dismissed those malodorous windy discharges as minor aberrations. He could not have predicted the taint that would soon enthusiastically be blown in his direction.
The day he found his prey, Windeeelicious chewed the shoes to bits and then waited excitedly to see the man’s reaction. When the man discovered his favorite shoes destroyed by the creature he had treated so kindly, he was deeply saddened. Windeeelicious just growled and hissed as the man cleaned up the mess Windeeelicious had left. The man did not, and could not, understand how the creature he cared for and treated so well, could turn on him and become so hostile without any cause.
Windeeelicious was disappointed, he had hoped for a more dramatic reaction, the man's mere sadness was going to make transferring the blame from himself to his victim sound phony and bad. Undaunted he manufactured a reason to fault the man for everything. The man had no right to be sad, or so the reasoning went, Windeeelicious wasn't a saint, integrity, honesty and regard for others aren't what make a windelicious tick. The man’s sadness was stressing Windeeelicious out and robbing him of the freedom to use people however he liked. Clearly, the man was a crazy intolerant beast in need of therapy and reeducation.
Windeeelicious didn't need the man anymore but before sauntering out the door he wanted to make sure any link with the man was totally torched, so he bit the man hard on the hand then did as he had been taught and shit on the bed. You see, while Windeeelicious’ farts came from his food, his maliciousness came from being just like his dad, the heartless bloke who would gladly burn anyone who cared about him, even his own kin.
The moral of this story is … well, there isn't one … and the windeliciouses of this world don't have any. It's not wrong to befriend strays, some will even be friends in return, but avoid the windelicious. A farty and malicious windelicious will pretend to be your friend, they'll be nice while they ask for favors, but to them you are just ignominious crap to be used, and all your niceness will be paid back with lies, disrespect and other malicious windelicious behaviors. Be careful, watch out, there is no telling where a windelicious will turn up, one even became the U.S. president.